The Nigeria Police Limited
In Nigeria we don't have a police force in the sense of a law enforcement and security unit with a responsibility to serve and protect the citizens. What we have is an organised group of thugs in uniform who have been authorised by the Federal government to bear arms.
If you were assaulted or robbed for instance, you can't go to any Police Station to report the case without first paying some money. Imagine! You need to pay money to ''Police Officers'' to report that you have been robbed or assaulted or raped! It may sound crazy, but that's exactly what happens in Nigeria. They will collect money from you before they do anything for you. Security is only for those who can afford it. And you may be a criminal, but if you can afford to pay the Police they will protect you. They will intimidate and harass anyone you want them to intimidate for you. They can even kill anyone you want them to kill for you. It's all about the price, the right price. And crazy as it might sound, they have the backing of the Nigerian government, unless someone has the surname or knows someone who has the surname that can scream for you.
It comes full circle. If you're a criminal in police custody, you can also go free if you pay the right price. I'm aware of an incident that affected someone I know, we'll call him Samson. He has a shop somewhere in Enugu. One morning he came to work to hear his neighbour complaining that her shop had been burgled and her TV set stolen. The woman said that this had happened to her before in that same shop, and that she was going to do something about it this time. The next day Samson said that he and other shop owners saw this woman come with a native doctor to her shop. She had decided to use diabolical means to know who was responsible for breaking into her shop and stealing from her. The native doctor performed some incantations and in their usual way started making some ambiguous accusations without being specific. The woman said she wanted to know the specific culprit. The native doctor told her she would have to eat some concoction he would give to her. Samson and the other shop owners prevailed on this woman not to take anything until she had consulted her husband on her decision.
The following day Samson was told that the woman ate the concoction prepared by this native doctor, and that later that day she suddenly slumped and died. Samson was not even at work the day the woman slumped. Later, the police got involved. They came to raid the location and picked up the neighbours of this woman including those who had warned this woman not to take any concoction. They also picked up the person who connected her to the native doctor and picked up the native doctor himself. Samson, fortunately was not around when the police came to raid the area, so they didn't pick him up. The police officers involved tried various ways to locate and pick up Samson from where he was hiding, but they were not successful. Samson reported his ordeal to a senior Police Officer who goes to the same church as him and this police officer helped him get the other officers that were on Samson's trail off his back.
Later Samson would say that the native doctor who administered the concoction that led to the death of the woman was eventually let go after he was made to pay a huge sum of money. The other neighbours who witnessed this whole incident who were picked up were harassed and intimidated to pay large sums of money as ''bail'' for the crime of being witnesses. Even the person who connected the woman with the native doctor was let go after he also paid some money.
So, if you're the complainant, you're a customer for the Police. If you're the accused you're also a customer. In Nigeria, pray never to have anything to do with the police either as a complainant or an accused. If you have never had anything to do with them, keep it that way. If you're ever assaulted or robbed or raped, just pick up your phone and call... call anybody, but not the Nigeria Police, unless you want to multiply your woes.
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